Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Rage of the Phone-a-thon

Well, as is my typical fashion, I've come to be fanatical about my school.  So naturally, when the opportunity came to host pre-frosh (recent admits) in my room in April gush at them, I lept at the opportunity.  But before I'm allowed to fill my suite with impressionable high school seniors and receive my free t-shirt (for every t-shirt I throw out to minimize my collection, three more free ones appear), I had to participate for an hour and a half in the phone-a-thon.

The went something like this:

"Hi, I'm Meredith and I'm a freshman at ** University.  Congrats on getting in! Do you have any questions?"

*insert one of two initial reactions:

1. panicked silence...he has 8,000 questions but suddenly they can't remember a single one.  But what if the opportunity passes and he never get to ask the questions? Suddenly an innocent evening hating on George Bush while watching the State of the Union has become one that could determine his future happiness.  Oh God, oh God.  The PRESSURE!
2. silence.....uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh

despite the difference in silences, they both come out sounding like this:*

"Um, no, not really."

The instruction sheet said not to leave it at that.  Ask them questions, it commanded.  Look at their interests, pull one of those 8,000 questions out of the abyss into which they flew.  I did as told, and then grilled (subtly) for information on their college plans, the likelihood they would come and be submerged in our propaganda.  Some had more questions than others, and I ended up talking to a couple for a long time.  The girl I'm supposed to be hosting for the re-visit weekend seemed excellent, so I hope she comes.

But there was a problem: four of the people I was supposed to call go to boarding school.  I guess the admissions office figured that would be enough that we had in common to make me a good connection.  Perhaps true, if I could have reached them.  But as soon as I saw the numbers, I knew what was coming: lovely conversations with parents confused as to why the college would be calling their child when it had a record that he/she goes to boarding school.  And of course, as I had predicted, every time I got a cell number, the person didn't pick up.

But my favorite moment of the night was when I called the one person of the night who was watching the State of the Union.  His mother picked up, and asked if I could call tomorrow.  I said someone else would call back, which I guess she interpreted as indignation.  So she called her son over, who repeated his firm interest in watching Bush make a fool of himself and his lack of interest in talking to me.

"Congrats! How are you?"
"I'm watching the State of the Union.  How long will this take?"
"Well, it depends on how many questions you have."
"What."
"I'm calling to see if you have any questions about the university.  Do you?"
"NO."
"Well, I see you do tennis.  Do you have any questions about tennis here at the university?"
"NO."
"Okay, well, are you interested in information on the re-visit weekend?"
"NO."
"Well, then have a great night, and enjoy the State of the Union."
"*ANGRY PHONE CLICK*"



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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

well played

10:56 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

I got my "congratulations, you got in, any questions?" call at 4 AM. They apologized and never called back.

4:06 AM  

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