Inappropriate PDA
Let me get this out of the way first: Batman was badass. I could talk extensively about many aspects of it, including, but not limited to, Christian Bale's hotness, Morgan Freeman's awesomeness, and the number of people tasting Batman's pointy, flying elbows.
I'm someone who really enjoys action movies. Even if they're crappy and full of plot holes, I can sit through them and be pretty engrossed. Especially if the screen is large and fills my entire field of vision. So, when I'm in a legitimately well done action movie, like Batman, I enter a sort of zone. This is a peaceful mental state which I do not like having interrupted.
Enter the teenage couple. They came in with a gaggle of their loud friends who think they're all very funny. I know. Being with a large group of people you've known for a while is sort of like being drunk: Everyone's much more clever, everything's much funnier, and no one has the ability to control the volume of his voice. I accept this, and think of it as a kind of penance for my own times being in that group who singlehandedly ruins the entire movie/restaurant/walking down the sidewalk experience.
They quieted down mostly before the movie and settled in for a few solid hours of explosions and hand-to-hand combat. About forty-five minutes in, the guy in the couple lost interest in the movie. He started looking over at his girlfriend, who was sitting next to me. She ignored him as he shifted around and tried to make eye contact with her. Eventually, after about fifteen minutes of struggle and a short conversation about how she was tired, they started making out. They would glance at me occasionally. I assume this means they were checking to see if I'd noticed, and if so, whether I was going to throw my soda on them.
And so, the next hour and a half of Batman was interrupted by slurping sounds and elbow bumping. I get it. They have hormones. But if you're going to make out during a movie, why would you sit in the middle of the theater, next to people? Especially when it's a popular movie on its second weekend? The world may never know.
Long story short, I'm bringing a taser and a spray bottle to the movies from now on.
I'm someone who really enjoys action movies. Even if they're crappy and full of plot holes, I can sit through them and be pretty engrossed. Especially if the screen is large and fills my entire field of vision. So, when I'm in a legitimately well done action movie, like Batman, I enter a sort of zone. This is a peaceful mental state which I do not like having interrupted.
Enter the teenage couple. They came in with a gaggle of their loud friends who think they're all very funny. I know. Being with a large group of people you've known for a while is sort of like being drunk: Everyone's much more clever, everything's much funnier, and no one has the ability to control the volume of his voice. I accept this, and think of it as a kind of penance for my own times being in that group who singlehandedly ruins the entire movie/restaurant/walking down the sidewalk experience.
They quieted down mostly before the movie and settled in for a few solid hours of explosions and hand-to-hand combat. About forty-five minutes in, the guy in the couple lost interest in the movie. He started looking over at his girlfriend, who was sitting next to me. She ignored him as he shifted around and tried to make eye contact with her. Eventually, after about fifteen minutes of struggle and a short conversation about how she was tired, they started making out. They would glance at me occasionally. I assume this means they were checking to see if I'd noticed, and if so, whether I was going to throw my soda on them.
And so, the next hour and a half of Batman was interrupted by slurping sounds and elbow bumping. I get it. They have hormones. But if you're going to make out during a movie, why would you sit in the middle of the theater, next to people? Especially when it's a popular movie on its second weekend? The world may never know.
Long story short, I'm bringing a taser and a spray bottle to the movies from now on.


