Quotes on Life
Rather than muse about anything, I thought I'd do something slightly different today. Here are some other people's musings, as heard over the weekend:
"Why is apple sauce so good?!"
(on Olympic speedskating)
"They look like they're just chillin', but they're actually moving really fast."
"Yeah. But I wonder, how the hell do you get into a sport like speed-skating? I know it's not like, 'Wow, I think I really want to be a speed skater, because it looks so cool on television.' Because it's not on television, except during the Olympics."
"It's probably more like, 'I really want to skate fast around the ice rink and shitload of times.' And then you discover that there's actually a sport where you can do just that."
"Okay, I'll buy that. But what about curling?"
"Haha! You got me there."
"Alright, so, snow."
"What?"
"It's badass."
"So Axe is supposed to make women want to have sex with the guy wearing it, right?"
"Right."
"So if a girl wears it, does that mean that she'll attract lesbians, or gay men?"
"I curse whoever decided that 'gay' would be a synonym for homosexual!"
"Huh?"
"A perfectly good word, ruined for me! I used to be able to say, 'I'm feeling gay today!' and no one would look at me like I just asked him to kick me in the balls!"
"You know what would suck? Acid snow."
"What's in this sandwich? I can't quite tell. Is it turkey?"
"No, Tofurkey."
"Really?"
"No. If it was Tofurkey, you would know."
"I hate sweatpants! I like long johns so much better. But the thing about sweatpants is that you can wear shorts under them, and so you can whip the sweatpants off if you get too hot. You can't whip off long johns, especially on a bus full of boys."
"Free hotdogs!"
(swarm of teenagers rushes at the grill)
"You know, I've always thought that teenagers were kind of like packs of ravening wolverines."
"That's like the fifth kid I've seen racing without goggles. Can't their teammates be friends to them? Help a brother out, man."
"You know what I wish I had a patent on? That annoying beeping noise that trucks make when they're backing up. I'd be rich!"
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
"Why is apple sauce so good?!"
(on Olympic speedskating)
"They look like they're just chillin', but they're actually moving really fast."
"Yeah. But I wonder, how the hell do you get into a sport like speed-skating? I know it's not like, 'Wow, I think I really want to be a speed skater, because it looks so cool on television.' Because it's not on television, except during the Olympics."
"It's probably more like, 'I really want to skate fast around the ice rink and shitload of times.' And then you discover that there's actually a sport where you can do just that."
"Okay, I'll buy that. But what about curling?"
"Haha! You got me there."
"Alright, so, snow."
"What?"
"It's badass."
"So Axe is supposed to make women want to have sex with the guy wearing it, right?"
"Right."
"So if a girl wears it, does that mean that she'll attract lesbians, or gay men?"
"I curse whoever decided that 'gay' would be a synonym for homosexual!"
"Huh?"
"A perfectly good word, ruined for me! I used to be able to say, 'I'm feeling gay today!' and no one would look at me like I just asked him to kick me in the balls!"
"You know what would suck? Acid snow."
"What's in this sandwich? I can't quite tell. Is it turkey?"
"No, Tofurkey."
"Really?"
"No. If it was Tofurkey, you would know."
"I hate sweatpants! I like long johns so much better. But the thing about sweatpants is that you can wear shorts under them, and so you can whip the sweatpants off if you get too hot. You can't whip off long johns, especially on a bus full of boys."
"Free hotdogs!"
(swarm of teenagers rushes at the grill)
"You know, I've always thought that teenagers were kind of like packs of ravening wolverines."
"That's like the fifth kid I've seen racing without goggles. Can't their teammates be friends to them? Help a brother out, man."
"You know what I wish I had a patent on? That annoying beeping noise that trucks make when they're backing up. I'd be rich!"
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
posted by Meredith at 10:24 AM
3 Comments:
My theory is that the future's top curlers are today's athletically challenged rural European kids who can't keep up on skis with all the cooler children and (since we're talking about places like Middleofnowhere-Burg, Austria) discover that hurling pinecones across frozen ponds is their sole form of entertainment, until concerned parents take pity on them and introduce them to this marvelous sport called curling, which will allow their skills, honed by hours of boredom, to go paid.
But seriously, I just don't understand why curling is a sport in the first place. You can go on and on about precision and muscular tension and top-ice cross-flow or whatever it is curlers worry about, but at the end of the day, curling still looks faintly ridiculous.
Which in a way gives the sport its own brand of loser-esque awesomeness...
Oh gosh I'm confused now...
Haha, marry me, Jason. Actually, the second largest training center for curling is within ten miles of my house. Go figure, right?
Go figure, indeed.
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