Dessert First

People sometimes tell me to eat my dessert first, because one can't be sure I'll make it to dinner, and should make sure I get in the sweet part first. If find this idea to be like communism: it's better in theory than in practice.

Occasionally I give in and have dessert first. Then I eat dinner. And then I want dessert...again. So I end up eating two desserts. It tips me over the edge of fulfilled, too. When I finish the dinner second to dessert, I feel pleasantly full. After the second dessert, though, I feel uncomfortably full. I am two desserts closer to dying, but I'm still around, hating myself for letting myself fall prey to an indulgent, self-help book adage. I am constantly at war with myself, because I want dessert first, but habit pushes upon me the unstoppable urge to have dessert after dinner. Instead of giving in one or the other, I compromise and do both, and it doesn't work. The body just wasn't meant to have bookend desserts.

But I have recently discovered a happy medium. Save your decision-making skills for important choices. Don't make a choice about when to have dessert, have a full dessert before dinner and half a dessert after dinner.