Platypus

The platypus is an amazing animal. There are many bizarre things about them, but there are three that I find particularly excellent. First of all, it's a mammal that lays eggs (it's only compatriot in this is the echidna) . Second, they're poisonous. Third, they're duckbilled.
By all reasoning, the platypus is a freak. They can't even figure out how to pluralize it (it's a debate between platypuses, platypoda, platypi, or simply platypus).

My biology teacher had a stuffed platypus. She kept it on top of one of the shelves. I would stare at its beady, glass eyes, peering down at me from above. Its feet were outstretched, and it looked like it was trying to swim through the air. I find stuffed animals as a whole to be mildly upsetting, but the platypus in particular unsettled me. Imagine my horror, then, when my teacher brought the platypus down during our evolution unit.

She emphasized that it was very difficult to get a real platypus, and to handle it carefully. She seemed so excited by it that I hadn't the heart to tell her that I found the idea entirely unappealing. The platypus was passed around the class, and my horror grew with each pair of hands it moved through. At last, the platypus was handed to me, and I cringed. My teacher encouraged me to feel the soft fur of the platypus, and it was rather like an otters. It is only in staring at a real platypus that one realizes what an incredibly unlikely animal it is. I found it even more creepy (mostly it was the feet) now that I was holding it, but I was fascinated by it, too.

And I took it upon myself, after having my moment of revelation, to study the platypus more closely. Here is my favorite fact: platypus poison is not normally lethal to humans, but it produces excruciating pain and swelling that lasts for several months. The pain is so excruciating that the victim is rendered almost helpless. If I were ever engaged in a battle of mammals, I would choose the platypus.

Don't mess with a platypus, because he will mess you up.