Vegetarianism: A Danger to the Youth
Vegetarianism seems to be spreading like a highly contagious disease. It is a plague perhaps so serious that it eclipses the early 20th century influenza pandemic. You may know someone who has succumbed to this disease. One of the first symptoms is smugness. While there were originally some very nice vegetarians who had no signs of the smug, the latest, increasingly prevalant strain of it evolved to include smugness with a touch of condescension.
Four years ago, I knew three vegetarians. Now I know more than you can shake a stick (or twelve) at. My favorite vegetarians are the ones whom, if you didn't really look closely at what they were eating, you wouldn't realize they were a vegetarian. They have made a decision, often for ethical reasons, not to eat meat, but they respect my right to eat things that bleed. Being a vegetarian can be sort of hard, but they weather it in relative silence. Many of them are well versed on the nutritional content of most foods, and are exceedingly helpful. But they are a dying breed.
But the new, malevolent kind of vegetarians are popping up like dandelions. And they are not satisfied until they have thoroughly ruined everyone else's eating experience. One girl whom I ate meat in front of recently insisted that she had to leave the room after protracted theatrics and horrified moans with each bite I took. I relished in watching her squirm; I delighted in spiting her and having driven her away so that I could enjoy my meal in peace. I've also suffered through several meals during which a vegetarian would analyze my meal and tell me why it meant I was a Neanderthal for persisting in consuming it. Let's be clear here: I love food, and nothing makes me more irritable than someone impinging on my dining experience. I'm not disgusted by the fact that the thing I'm eating used to have a face. It's tasty and I have the teeth for it, so I'm not going to kick my carnivorous habit. Also, I've tried some of those vegetarian products (Tofurkey, I'm looking at your in particular), and I'd pretty much rather starve than be reduced to eating most of them. I enjoyed a vegetarian hotdog once, but only because it tasted like meat.
Each smug vegetarian seems to think that she is the first one to impart information about the slaughter of animals to me. I've heard it all before. I've even read The Jungle, so I have some notion of how disgusting the meat packing industry is. The first eight thousand people couldn't convert me, so what makes you think you're special? And it distresses me that it has taken over the lives of some people so completely. Their primary trait is that they are a vegetarian; it is their vanity to discuss it and nothing else. It makes them feel better to think that I'm morally inferior, that I am too thick to appreciate their condescension, their attempts to enlighten me. So let me make it clear: usually meat eaters KNOW everything you're telling them, but they just don't care. I am a belligerent non-carer, and all you're doing is antagonizing me.
But here is my one source of confusion: is the strain of preaching vegetarians saying that the cows should be killed more humanely, or that we shouldn't be killing them at all? Because if it's the latter, it's my obligation to tell you that cows don't roam in the wild. Find a cure for the vegetarianism disease, strain smugdescending. The treatment is to look into your heart and say: am I an annoying douchebag who doesn't want to accept that not everyone can live on broccoli? And step off, because if it comes to a fight, omnivores have bigger muscles to support their collective fist of fury (you can only eat so many beans for protein before you gag).
Technorati Tags: vegetarians, rant
Four years ago, I knew three vegetarians. Now I know more than you can shake a stick (or twelve) at. My favorite vegetarians are the ones whom, if you didn't really look closely at what they were eating, you wouldn't realize they were a vegetarian. They have made a decision, often for ethical reasons, not to eat meat, but they respect my right to eat things that bleed. Being a vegetarian can be sort of hard, but they weather it in relative silence. Many of them are well versed on the nutritional content of most foods, and are exceedingly helpful. But they are a dying breed.
But the new, malevolent kind of vegetarians are popping up like dandelions. And they are not satisfied until they have thoroughly ruined everyone else's eating experience. One girl whom I ate meat in front of recently insisted that she had to leave the room after protracted theatrics and horrified moans with each bite I took. I relished in watching her squirm; I delighted in spiting her and having driven her away so that I could enjoy my meal in peace. I've also suffered through several meals during which a vegetarian would analyze my meal and tell me why it meant I was a Neanderthal for persisting in consuming it. Let's be clear here: I love food, and nothing makes me more irritable than someone impinging on my dining experience. I'm not disgusted by the fact that the thing I'm eating used to have a face. It's tasty and I have the teeth for it, so I'm not going to kick my carnivorous habit. Also, I've tried some of those vegetarian products (Tofurkey, I'm looking at your in particular), and I'd pretty much rather starve than be reduced to eating most of them. I enjoyed a vegetarian hotdog once, but only because it tasted like meat.
Each smug vegetarian seems to think that she is the first one to impart information about the slaughter of animals to me. I've heard it all before. I've even read The Jungle, so I have some notion of how disgusting the meat packing industry is. The first eight thousand people couldn't convert me, so what makes you think you're special? And it distresses me that it has taken over the lives of some people so completely. Their primary trait is that they are a vegetarian; it is their vanity to discuss it and nothing else. It makes them feel better to think that I'm morally inferior, that I am too thick to appreciate their condescension, their attempts to enlighten me. So let me make it clear: usually meat eaters KNOW everything you're telling them, but they just don't care. I am a belligerent non-carer, and all you're doing is antagonizing me.
But here is my one source of confusion: is the strain of preaching vegetarians saying that the cows should be killed more humanely, or that we shouldn't be killing them at all? Because if it's the latter, it's my obligation to tell you that cows don't roam in the wild. Find a cure for the vegetarianism disease, strain smugdescending. The treatment is to look into your heart and say: am I an annoying douchebag who doesn't want to accept that not everyone can live on broccoli? And step off, because if it comes to a fight, omnivores have bigger muscles to support their collective fist of fury (you can only eat so many beans for protein before you gag).
Technorati Tags: vegetarians, rant
posted by Meredith at 4:14 AM
4 Comments:
cows had to roam in the wild at some point.
at first as i was reading this i thought i was one of the bad vegetarians but i dont think i've ever moaned and wept and beat my hands upon my chest in wailing grief because someone was eating a hamburger. don't think.
I really hope that I fall into the first class of vegetarians.
ps - you have my cookies love milk shirt. Take good care of it. I expect to get it back in December.
No, you're both good vegetarians.
I was a vegetarian for 3 months and nobody but my family knew or realised. Obviously I had to tell me parents or I would have been fed meat at home.
Damn I'm making it sound like I'm coming out of the closet or something.
Now either my friends aren't very observant, or I am one of the "good" vegetarians ;) it probably helps that 4 are already at varying stages along conversion (one really wierd one is a vegan. She isn't wierd because shes a vegan, but it probably adds to it).
But my only smugness is this - you can eat meat in front of me all you like as long as you don't butcher it as well, and I won't bat an eyelid - anyway being vegetarian apparently lowers the body's resistance to alcohol.
Wonderful - cheap night out!
I realise that most of that wasn't actually coherent - it was a protein deficiency that caused it ;)
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