Axe
I know boys want to inspire sex by the way they smell, but Axe spray is not the answer. While I admit to liking Axe deodorant, the spray is never okay. It's not subtle and nice like the deodorant. It's like being punched in the face, and then bled on. The Axe spray, no matter how long ago it was sprayed on a person, makes them reek strongly. Boys insist on sitting next to me in class wearing the Axe, and it makes it impossible to focus, and not in a good way. I want to kick over his chair, not jump him.
My first experience with the Axe spray was in Japan. The Japanese never really embraced deodorant as a whole, opting for scented spray instead. It mixes acridly with the scent of B.O., and makes crowded train rides in the summer rather interesting. Think about a combined odor of B.O., pineapple, and sandalwood. The end result is somewhat remarkable, actually, and may be the next big biochemical weapon in the making. One of the boys on the trip decided to embrace this, and his spray of choice was Axe.
He quickly became a huge fan of Axe, so much so that he could not restrain himself from spraying it whenever the urge struck. He kept the bottle with him, and would periodically send mists of Axe into the air. There was a turning point only when he Axed himself on a bus, and we sneezed for an entire busride. We exited the bus all smelling like Axe, and took care to never stand near him when he was engaging in the Axeification, which we stopped as much as possible.
Some boys on campus are fond of what is called the "Axe Bomb." You take several bottles of Axe while another guy is away at class, and spray the entire contents of the bottles in the room. The boy returns to his room and is forced to retreat for fear that his face will melt off if exposed to the excruciating power of undiluted Axe for more than thirty seconds.
Axe spray has become the new cheap cologne. Teenage boys seem unable to figure out how much is enough, and opt for too much. If you must use Axe spray, do so sparingly If you can smell yourself (or smell like an Axe Bomb), you've used too much. Stop the madness, and maybe we'll all still be able to smell when we're fifty.
My first experience with the Axe spray was in Japan. The Japanese never really embraced deodorant as a whole, opting for scented spray instead. It mixes acridly with the scent of B.O., and makes crowded train rides in the summer rather interesting. Think about a combined odor of B.O., pineapple, and sandalwood. The end result is somewhat remarkable, actually, and may be the next big biochemical weapon in the making. One of the boys on the trip decided to embrace this, and his spray of choice was Axe.
He quickly became a huge fan of Axe, so much so that he could not restrain himself from spraying it whenever the urge struck. He kept the bottle with him, and would periodically send mists of Axe into the air. There was a turning point only when he Axed himself on a bus, and we sneezed for an entire busride. We exited the bus all smelling like Axe, and took care to never stand near him when he was engaging in the Axeification, which we stopped as much as possible.
Some boys on campus are fond of what is called the "Axe Bomb." You take several bottles of Axe while another guy is away at class, and spray the entire contents of the bottles in the room. The boy returns to his room and is forced to retreat for fear that his face will melt off if exposed to the excruciating power of undiluted Axe for more than thirty seconds.
Axe spray has become the new cheap cologne. Teenage boys seem unable to figure out how much is enough, and opt for too much. If you must use Axe spray, do so sparingly If you can smell yourself (or smell like an Axe Bomb), you've used too much. Stop the madness, and maybe we'll all still be able to smell when we're fifty.
posted by Meredith at 2:23 PM
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