Cell Phones

Okay, so I'm not tech savvy, but what happened to cell phones? I hung onto my old one for five years before being forced to a new phone plan and cell phone last summer. I like it well enough, it had color and the internet and lower case letters. That phone crapped out one week before the warranty ended, however. I have the common complaint of those who witness any leaps on technology: whatever happened to my dependable, longlasting, slightly more clunky technology? I don't want to purchase a new one every year.

I purchased an LG Fusic, which is really neat. It too has color, the internet and lower case letters. It even has videos. But the internet technology isn't compatible with what my old phone used. You have to pay money for the highspeed internet on a monthly basis or 2 cents per kilobyte. Formerly the fastest you could move was modem speed, but now I can move at T1 speed. Was there some magical leap in technology in my one year absense from the latest and greatest technology? Or an I just too slow?

And since we're moving at this rapid pace, can we get cool stuff? I know they invented flying cars, so when is the government going to get on top of that and create regulations so I can tool around in my sweet, flying car? We invest all this energy into improving and creating things that the average person doesn't need, such as internet on the tiny phone screen. And most people really don't need 3 Gigs of computer memory. I know people who can still barely work a word processor. But everyone could use a hovercar. And what about a weather control bubble, stain-resistant cotton that doesn't feel weird, feces-powered cities? These are all things that would be useful to me. What the hell do I need a cable-speed connection on my phone for? A cure for the common cold...

I'm still waiting for my jet pack, damn you.