BIRTHDAY!
I turned eighteen today. WOOOOOOOO! I'm very excited for registering to vote. My father's encouraged me to register as a Democrat so that I can vote in the primaries, but I think I'm going to register Independent. My parents occasionally, when they bring up politics, will joke about my being a closet Republican and then pause. One will turn and ask, in a nervous, we-have-to-say-we-love-you-despite-the-despair look, "But you aren't really a Republican, are you?" I was born and raised in one of the most steadfastly Democratic places in the nation, and they have to make sure that I didn't turn out wrong despite being exposed to the right element. My mother occasionally has the same, jokey-nervous topic introduction of her latent suspicions that I'm a lesbian. I appreciate her trying to reassure me that I'll always deserve to be loved, but I know she's secretly hoping I'm not gay. It's not that my parents have anything against homosexuals, it's just that as a black, Catholic girl, life can kind of be a hassle already.
It's supposed to be a whopping 102 degrees today. My mom said that it hasn't been this hot since the heatwave that struck D.C. during the week of my birth. The only conclusion to be drawn is that the nation's capital is celebrating my birth in the typical fashion, meaning a celebration appealing only to a certain minority. In this case, the minority is the type of people whose ancestors thought it would be a good idea to set up camp in a hellishly hot, water-limited desert and form a city in what is now Arizona.
One of the most disappointing times in my life was discovering that not only have I met only one other person with my birthday, nothing cool happened on my birthday. My friends were looking up their birthdays via Wikipedia (the bane of my existence, normally, but kind of cool in this instance). "Look, Kierkegaard died of syphilis on my birthday!" "Some guy patented zippers on my birthday!" As for me...NOTHING.
Here's a sample of the not-quite-interesting things that happened in the world in todays past, as told by wikipedia:
Today in 1374, Petrarch died.
Today in 1976 Sagarmatha National Park in Nepal was created.
Today in 1870, France declared war on Prussia, starting the Franco-Prussian War.
Today in 1912, a meteorite of 190 kg exploded over a town in Arizona, raining down about 16,000 pieces of debris.
That's it.
So I've decided that my new goal is to become someone cool and famous so that people with this birthday no longer have to suffer the indignation of having a boring birthdate. No one really cares that that one pope died in early A.D. My possible careers as of right now are first black/female president of the U.S., movie star, best-selling author and pop star. This may interfere with my secret dream to become an international woman of mystery, but I sacrifice as I must.
It's supposed to be a whopping 102 degrees today. My mom said that it hasn't been this hot since the heatwave that struck D.C. during the week of my birth. The only conclusion to be drawn is that the nation's capital is celebrating my birth in the typical fashion, meaning a celebration appealing only to a certain minority. In this case, the minority is the type of people whose ancestors thought it would be a good idea to set up camp in a hellishly hot, water-limited desert and form a city in what is now Arizona.
One of the most disappointing times in my life was discovering that not only have I met only one other person with my birthday, nothing cool happened on my birthday. My friends were looking up their birthdays via Wikipedia (the bane of my existence, normally, but kind of cool in this instance). "Look, Kierkegaard died of syphilis on my birthday!" "Some guy patented zippers on my birthday!" As for me...NOTHING.
Here's a sample of the not-quite-interesting things that happened in the world in todays past, as told by wikipedia:
Today in 1374, Petrarch died.
Today in 1976 Sagarmatha National Park in Nepal was created.
Today in 1870, France declared war on Prussia, starting the Franco-Prussian War.
Today in 1912, a meteorite of 190 kg exploded over a town in Arizona, raining down about 16,000 pieces of debris.
That's it.
So I've decided that my new goal is to become someone cool and famous so that people with this birthday no longer have to suffer the indignation of having a boring birthdate. No one really cares that that one pope died in early A.D. My possible careers as of right now are first black/female president of the U.S., movie star, best-selling author and pop star. This may interfere with my secret dream to become an international woman of mystery, but I sacrifice as I must.
posted by Meredith at 12:09 AM
2 Comments:
History has shown that being president is a surefire way to become a bestselling author, being a movie star is a great boost to any campaign for presidency, and now being a pop star is all you need for a movie career, so I see no reason why you shouldn't accomplish all of the above, in that order.
You have 40 years or so. If you start now, you could still beat Jessica Simpson to the finish line, for which I think everyone will be grateful enough to award you a Nobel Peace Prize as well.
Happy Birthday!
It turns out that I'm better at this life planning thing than I thought. All is well. I WILL defeat Jessica Simpson.
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