Smelly Fingers

Reason #323 I don't trust people with smelly sprays in hand: My most recent incident at a perfume counter.

My mother and I were out shopping for makeup a couple days ago, and we decided to swing by the perfume counter.  Innocuous enough, I thought.  The plan was to spray on a couple of samples and then go investigate the make-up while the scents set. 

I sprayed perfume on my wrist, keeping the other one clean so that I'd have more skin to test blush and eye shadow on.  My mother grabbed a couple of perfumes she consistently uses and set them aside with the saleswoman.  The woman at the counter, spotting unresisting, easily snared (teenage girl with parent, and therefore credit card) prey and trying to make a sale, insisted that I let her spray samples of "young and fresh" perfumes on each pinkie.  That was when I made my mistake.

I held out my hands, unsuspecting, and she coated them with two spritzes of perfume, point blank.  I walked through the makeup section of Nordstrom, trying to keep my pinkies elevated and away from the rest of my fingers until they dried.  But my pinkies wouldn't dry; there was too much perfume.  For fear of leaving the scents on every surface I touched, I eventually had to wipe my pinkies off on a tissue.  But still the intermingling smell of the two overpowering perfumes remained.

As I moved through the crowds of people huddled over trays of blush samples, I could feel the reproachful gazes of those around me.  In such an enclosed space, the multitudes were hit with the full brunt of my flowery stench.  I could feel one woman's stare when I stopped at the Mac counter.  I tried to focus on the pitch of the saleswoman trying to sell me 8 different brushes that all do the same thing, but to no avail.  To the saleswoman's distress, I quickly purchased only one brush to perform the one task of blending eyeshadow and made my getaway.

When the perfume specialist said "young and fresh," what she really meant was "baby prostitute."  Two showers, multiple hand washings, and two days later, I still reek.  The perfumes may not have smelled good, but they're long lasting.  Every time I move my hand too close to my face, I get a whiff of a flower-vanilla-something.  My skin and nostrils gently weep.

Let this be a warning to you all.

technorati tags:perfume, makeup, shopping, teen