The Christmas Party, Part 2

The Christmas Party Scenarios, Part Two

The Non-Christmas Party

a. You are invited to a friend's house.  There's supposedly some Christmas theme to separate it from the myriad other parties that you all attend together.  What will make this party a "Christmas party" is having spiked eggnog rather than spiked punch.  But you will still enjoy it.

b. You go to a Christmas party at the house of someone you barely know who is not your neighbor.  This category of person includes, but is not limited to, that guy you haven't talked to since the 7th grade and the girl from college whom you met twice and invited you solely because you're from the same geographic region.  With apprehension and a Whole Foods assorted cheeses tray you bought in a panic on the way over, thinking perhaps everyone else was bringing gifts, you enter.

Immediately the smell of Natty Light, various seasonal scents and smoke assaults your nose.  Your eyes sting from the smoke, which may or may not be be just from cigarettes.  You awkwardly enter and socialize with whomever is still able to stand and form words vaguely like English.  Even hand gestures and smiles will do.  Everyone is milling around or dancing, and the occasional person has shown her enthusiasm for the party by putting on pair of fuzzy reindeer ears or a Santa hat. 

You run into the host an hour and a half after you arrive, and yell over some techno remix of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" blasting dully in the background that you left the cheese on the table.  The conversation goes like this:

"Hi! I'm glad you came."

"Thanks for inviting me.  I brought assorted cheeses.  I left it on the dining room table."

Somebody turns up the bass on the stereo.

"YOU WHAT? BEES?"

"CHEESE!"

"WHAT?"

"CHEESE!"

"OKAY.  HAVE A GOOD TIME."

She has understood nothing of what you said, but doesn't care.  She will find the tray of assorted cheeses on the table in the morning and wonder what's going on.  You will have retreated home far before this happens.

Tomorrow: The Uncomfortable Clothing Christmas Party

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