Baby Sack
I see some relatively strange things on the street when I'm at home, home being in a city. People wearing period costumes, aggressive singing hobos, general crazies who mutter to themselves. But none of this compares to the strange thing that has increasing prominence in both small towns and big cities: baby sacks. Gone, apparently, are the days of strollers and walking your baby down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace. You can't fit a stroller into a dressing room, it blocks aisles in little boutiques, and they're quite generally cumbersome. After all, you need your hands free. Thus, parents have chosen, instead, to rock it caveman style and carry the babies in sacks. This is about one step up from a cloth slung over your shoulder and tied behind your back, which, after I wrote this sentence, I realized is called a sling. Anyway...
The babies always have mildly disgruntled looks on their faces. I can't figure out whether this stems from the shame of being treated like a sack of potatoes or that their chins are being shoved up by the cloth harness with rainbow dinosaurs on it. And these babies are almost always wearing too-cute hats. There are two varieties of baby sack: the front baby sack and the back baby sack. Both are equally amusing, though in different ways.
The back baby sack has definite high points. Chief among them is that for the proximity that the parent has to the baby, they have no actual face time. The baby has acquired what is the equivalent to one of those six unfortunate seats on the subway that face the wrong way and make people sick. The baby sits, bottom lip protruding, bouncing a bit with each step the parent takes. His face says, "Why, God, WHY? My parents are the kind of people who will upgrade me to the toddler leash as soon as I can walk." My second favorite part of this is how many fathers seem to favor the back baby sack. You can't really feel like a man while holding a baby out in front, I suppose, but when you put the baby on your back it's like you don't know it's there, or it snuck up on you and attached itself to your back.
The front baby sack seems to be the preferred sack of mothers. It has two varieties within itself. The first is the "you will stare at my face for hours, small, adorable baby, and we will BOND, and you will feel LOVED by your mother, and smart because of all the Mozart I played to you in the womb" where the baby is stomach to chest with the mother. The second kind is the "yes, my baby is the best, most adorable baby in the world, feel free to shower much cooing upon her." The baby will attempt a few feeble kicks, perhaps a desperate attempt to escape and roam free, or at least get a comfortable seat.
You remember those diaper-shaped swings that you only fit into for about 6 months after acquiring the ability to walk? And how mildly uncomfortable they were? Yeah, picture riding in that for hours, and you have the baby sack. I see it as only the first in a long series of things that parents do that will inadvertently embarrass their children later on. Hey, remember those two years of your life when I carried you on my back like we were a chimpanzee family? No, well I have pictures, and wouldn't your boyfriend like to see?
The babies always have mildly disgruntled looks on their faces. I can't figure out whether this stems from the shame of being treated like a sack of potatoes or that their chins are being shoved up by the cloth harness with rainbow dinosaurs on it. And these babies are almost always wearing too-cute hats. There are two varieties of baby sack: the front baby sack and the back baby sack. Both are equally amusing, though in different ways.
The back baby sack has definite high points. Chief among them is that for the proximity that the parent has to the baby, they have no actual face time. The baby has acquired what is the equivalent to one of those six unfortunate seats on the subway that face the wrong way and make people sick. The baby sits, bottom lip protruding, bouncing a bit with each step the parent takes. His face says, "Why, God, WHY? My parents are the kind of people who will upgrade me to the toddler leash as soon as I can walk." My second favorite part of this is how many fathers seem to favor the back baby sack. You can't really feel like a man while holding a baby out in front, I suppose, but when you put the baby on your back it's like you don't know it's there, or it snuck up on you and attached itself to your back.
The front baby sack seems to be the preferred sack of mothers. It has two varieties within itself. The first is the "you will stare at my face for hours, small, adorable baby, and we will BOND, and you will feel LOVED by your mother, and smart because of all the Mozart I played to you in the womb" where the baby is stomach to chest with the mother. The second kind is the "yes, my baby is the best, most adorable baby in the world, feel free to shower much cooing upon her." The baby will attempt a few feeble kicks, perhaps a desperate attempt to escape and roam free, or at least get a comfortable seat.
You remember those diaper-shaped swings that you only fit into for about 6 months after acquiring the ability to walk? And how mildly uncomfortable they were? Yeah, picture riding in that for hours, and you have the baby sack. I see it as only the first in a long series of things that parents do that will inadvertently embarrass their children later on. Hey, remember those two years of your life when I carried you on my back like we were a chimpanzee family? No, well I have pictures, and wouldn't your boyfriend like to see?
posted by Meredith at 5:41 PM
2 Comments:
Meredith,
As the mother of a four-month-old boy, who loves being in a sling as well as in a "baby bjorn," I was intrigued by your observations (not so different from some of my own before the birth of my son)!!! We haven't experimented with the back pack --but both my husband and I love the sling--it's especially useful around the house when you need to have your hands free (actually not ideal for shopping--hard to try on clothes with a baby strapped to you-- a stroller is much easier)...I must confess strollers are a bit of pain in the early months when they still require the car seat b/c the baby can't hold his/her head up--also I think part of the new rage for packs and slings has to do with the "Back to Sleep Campaign" to prevent SIDS (Sudden Death Syndrome), which means babies have to be put to bed on their backs--thus creating the "flat head" problem. So basically new moms are being told not to allow their babies to lay on the backs all day in a stroller, car seat, or bouncy. Which also has lead to the concept of "Tummy Time"--which requires placing your baby on his/her tummy for at least twenty minutes a day--so he/she builds neck muscle and can learn to hold his/her head. Being able to hold ones head up is a big deal. And in the sling/back pack/baby bjorn world--it really dictates how the baby can be carried--can't face out until the little one has head control--same with the back pack--- and around the end of three months--babies are pretty eager to get a view of what's going on beyond their mothers' breast. While it may seem a bit backwards to have your baby strapped to your chest--babies find it comforting because it feels familiar almost like being back in the womb. Also more and more parents are using slings as part of the "attachment parenting method"(which I will not go into detail here--as I'm not huge fan of this--it has extreme things like potty training a baby from birth--see: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/09/25/nnappy25.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/09/25/ixhome.html ( I don't know how to create links yet)) Of course I have my own reasons for loving the sling--1) It is a good way of covering up those nasty spit up stains that the baby tends to spew down the front of ones shirts--also good for covering up the wet spots when your breast leak milk 2) carrying the baby helps take off the pregnancy weight 3) a fussy baby is easily rocked to sleep in a sling and 4) carry a baby in a sling gets people to say the strangest things --like "I wish someone would carry me around like that all day". . .and I get to say things like "it sure as hell ain't gonna be me!" Of course this is more than you needed to know...indeed this is "on a need to know basis" kind of information--but I couldn't resist!! More importantly, however, it gives you a sense of all the madness that surrounds parenting!!
I've really enjoyed reading your blog the last couple of days--you're a great writer!
Holy cow, I never knew there was so much to them! Raising children seems to be an increasingly complex task. Suddenly the baby sacks make much more sense, even if I still think they're a little funny ;)
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